In the past couple of years, I’ve been going to contemporary dance classes, which is something I’ve always wanted to do since I was a teenager. Almost exactly a year ago, I started going to a different dance studio in the city, the type of studio where you have highly successful choreographers from all around the world teaching classes. It’s one of those studios where everyone likes to film themselves at the end of class and watch each other dance in smaller groups.

I love watching other dancers in class. It’s one of my favourite ways to learn from people. From watching others, there’s one thing that’s struck me: There’s no such thing as being perfect in a contemporary dance class, especially when you’re learning 30-40 seconds of choreography in about 45 minutes. Everyone has their own interpretation of the music and their own unique style of dancing, and it’s almost impossible to compare anyone or call someone perfect. Of course, some people will have better technique than others, but even then, people with great technique and amazing emotional expression can still mess up.

I used to put an immense amount of pressure on myself when I first started going to these classes. I wanted to keep up with everyone else, I wanted to be perfect in my videos, and I never wanted to make a mistake. But now, I’m much more forgiving towards myself. I walk into class feeling calm, confident, collected, and unafraid. If I mess up, then I just brush it off and learn from it. Even if I think a video of me dancing isn’t the best, I’ll still post on my socials if I really enjoyed the class that day.

Perfectionism is a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. - Robert Hillyer

I’ve tried to translate this lesson into other areas of my life too. It really doesn’t matter if my hair is a little messier than normal, it’s fine if my eczema is showing a bit more than normal, it’s okay if I still get nervous talking to people sometimes, and it’s more than okay not to have everything figured out yet.

I think perfectionism and control are also tightly intertwined. Perhaps we want to be perfect because we think it can control how others view us, whether we get the job we want or not, or if people like us and our personality. The truth is, people will have their opinion of you that you can’t control, and the universe will give or take from our lives regardless of whether we try to be perfect or not.

You can care about something and still let the situation breathe; you can desire something and still release the need for certainty of the outcome; you can do your best and appreciate yourself without being perfect all the time.

Sometimes I find that the messiest and most unexpected days are the best, and some of the most beautiful things in life are never considered perfect by anyone at all.

After all, the idea of something being “perfect” is just someone’s opinion anyway, isn’t it?

xoxo

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My grammar or writing style in this article probably isn’t perfect but… we won’t discuss that right now.

I’ve realised recently that I’m a very fast-moving person. I walk everywhere quickly, I talk quickly, I type quickly, and my brain works and processes my environment quickly. So, I’ve been trying to slow down. I’ve been reminding myself that rushing through life is not needed, and definitely not helpful for my nervous system.

I’m always on the go, either physically, mentally, or emotionally. It’s probably why I’ve had trouble meditating in the past (which is why I typically don’t). However, the past couple of weeks, I’ve been starting my own meditation ritual that seems to work well for me. Whenever I’m on a walk, I find a quiet spot where I feel safe, ideally near some water, and just close my eyes. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, and bring my focus to my senses, what I can feel and hear, and then tune into the energy around me. I might only do this for a few minutes, or even only 20 seconds, depending on where I am, but every time, it’s helped me take a moment to slow down and re-centre myself.

I’ve noticed that something else has occurred since I’ve been slowing down and embracing patience in my life. I’ve been able to detach from things easier, and let things go. But more importantly, I’m now comfortable with letting things go. I don’t feel the need to be attached to the outcome of any situation now.

I’ve found that my lack of patience also translated into having a sense of urgency in developing friendships or connections with others, and starting new projects or hearing from job applications, or seeing more engagement on my blog articles. It’s like I used to need certainty that I’m safe and secure in what I’m doing, and therefore held on tightly to the outcome of the situation and the need for clarity right away. It’s chasing in a way, at least energetically, and it’s not something I want for myself going forward.

Patience is not passive waiting. Patience is active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams. - Ray Davis

I’ve noticed that by letting the outcome of things go, I’ve been much happier, like an energetic weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Something else I’ve noticed is that things I want but have now detached from are actually coming true, or at least progressing in the most unexpected ways. It seems that by letting go, I’ve also let the universe step in and take more control of my life, and now I’m seeing the rewards.

Sometimes things get so interesting that I feel like I’m in a movie. But I’ll save that for another post. Or five.

I always used to have trouble letting things go, and I’ve always been sceptical about the whole Law of Detachment idea, but after my experiences recently, I do feel as though it has merit. If you have similar experiences to me with patience and having the strength to let things go, let me know in the comments!

Thank you for reading!

xoxo

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I’ve been dancing ballet my whole life, but only started training in commercial heels a few months ago. At the start, I was definitely showing my shy side again, moving my body in ways I never imagined I would be comfortable with. Class after class, I definitely felt more in tune with myself, especially being surrounded by other women in the class who were a little older and more confident in expressing themselves than I was at the time. It certainly gave me the final push I needed to embrace my authentic self more.

Someone who attends the same dance classes as me is a boudoir photographer, and when she was offering us the opportunity to have a mini photoshoot with her for only £50, including edited digital images… I didn’t jump at the chance. I was actually extremely conflicted about it. Part of me was feeling pulled to take the opportunity since I’d always wanted to do a photoshoot, but another part of me was shrinking back because it felt too exposing.

It’s also important to note: At the time, I thought boudoir photography was always photos taken in lingerie. It’s not! It can be whatever you feel comfortable in. The point of boudoir photography is to enhance confidence, express yourself, and feel amazing about who you are! You can do that wearing whatever makes you feel the most comfortable!

The first time the photoshoot was offered to the class, I skipped over it. But a month later, when she offered us the opportunity again, I was the first one to jump in and book my slot. Something inside me was telling me to take the opportunity, and I’m incredibly glad I did.

The week leading up to my photoshoot, I was thinking hard about what to wear. At the start of the week, I was brainstorming a cute sports bralette with some shorts that gave good coverage, and then a couple of days later, I had a sudden change of heart and decided to go with a black lace lingerie set with a floaty white shirt. Once I realised I could also wear casual clothes for my photoshoot, I planned my second outfit to be blue jeans and a brown lace bralette. I felt as though the two outfits showed two layers of my personality - gentle softness and a little bit of edge. I think a part of me was worried about what people would think of me doing this photoshoot, but then I realised I really don’t care what people think, and that it doesn’t matter anyway.

By the end of the week, I felt extremely confident going into the photoshoot, and my photographer certainly enhanced that for me. She’s actually the inspiration for this article.

My boudoir photographer is one of the most non-judgemental people I have ever met. Even from the information pack she sent me, I immediately felt extra comfortable going into the shoot. She also said I could bring props if I wanted, which inspired me to bring my tarot cards to the session and use them in some photos! She was more than happy to capture all the pictures I wanted, and was positive and encouraging throughout the whole process.

I feel as though you need to be a certain type of person to be a boudoir photographer. Being non-judgemental is a big factor, and it’s not something you can fake. As someone who reads others’ energies easily, I can say for certain that her open-mindedness, lack of judgment, and care for others is truly who she is at her core. During my shoot, I could feel the authenticity of her being non-judgmental, and that was important.

Sure, anyone can pretend they’re being non-judgemental. I’ll see through them and their lies anyway. To be non-judgmental in your soul is something rarer. Before my photoshoot yesterday, I didn’t realise just how rare it was.

It’s something I also try to incorporate into my daily life. I enjoy being open-minded and making people feel comfortable with me. If people open up to me, I like creating a safe space for them where they can be vulnerable. I think studying psychology for three years at university has certainly been an influence for me wanting to be less judgemental, but also the fact that I know firsthand what it’s like to be judged a lot and left out of social circles. People judge each other all the time these days, and I like to be the person who can offer moments of safety in a world that’s full of harsh opinions.

Becoming non-judgemental requires an ego death. It requires us to look at ourselves and be honest with what we feel insecure about. People’s insecurities usually show themselves in the way they judge others. Most of the time, people judge others so they can feel better about themselves, which is not a good cycle to be stuck in. Other times, it’s because they’re naive and have no sympathy.

Being non-judgemental also triggers a journey of loving and accepting yourself after facing your insecurities. It’s a journey that requires depth and the willingness to admit when you’re wrong, and demands that you carry a certain amount of softness and open-mindedness with each person you meet.

It’s also important to note that being non-judgemental does not mean you stop observing people and their actions. I observe people all the time to learn about them and what kind of person they are, but I’m rarely judging them (unless they’ve done something severely awful and terrible to someone else. In that circumstance, yes, I might be judging you).

What other people are wearing? I’ll notice, maybe be inspired if I like it, but I won’t judge. People’s jobs? Never judge. As long as they’re not hurting others or being mean, people can expect judgment-free energy from me.

At the end of the day, the majority of the time, people are just doing the best they can in life.

xoxo

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Let’s start from the beginning. I was 13, on a trip to the Isle of Wight with the music academy I attended at the time. There were probably about 100 students who went on the trip, and we stayed for three nights at East Dene, a residential education centre. I played violin in a string orchestra, and we spent most of our time on the island rehearsing and performing at different venues.

I shared a room with two other girls around my age, one of them I knew from primary school (let’s call her R), and the other girl I had just met (let’s call her E). We all got on well and could spend ages chatting.

As soon as I walked into our room (room 10, actually), I knew something was off. I’ve always been a little in tune with the unseen, but at the time I didn’t know how to trust the energy I was reading like I do now. I assumed the room didn’t get much sun, and that’s why it felt so dark and eerie. I assumed that the narrow shape of the ceiling was why the corridor outside felt so suffocating. I assumed the reason the communal toilets freaked me out was because there weren’t many people staying down our end of the building, making it too quiet. I assumed the obvious discomfort and need to escape that room was all in my head.

The first night, nothing happened. I still hated the room, but nothing happened. Yet.

The second night, I was chatting with the girls before bed, and E was telling us a funny story about the time she went to the cinema with a guy and had a private booth with him. We stayed up talking about it for a while until one of the chaperones staying in the room next to us came in and told us to be quiet and go to bed.

The lights went off, and I’m lying in the darkness trying to sleep. My mind wanders over various parts of the day, and in that moment, I was feeling rather positive about the trip as a whole.

Then it happened.

It started near my feet. The sensation of someone standing at the end of my bed. I tell myself I’m imagining it. I even let myself believe it for a second.

The next thing I know, there’s movement at the bottom of my bed, as if someone is sliding their hand across the duvet by my feet.

My brain starts desperately trying to turn off whatever scenario I’m obviously making up in my head right now.

Except it won’t turn off, because I’m not making it up.

There’s no sound, just feeling.

The presence… whoever it is… makes its way to the other corner on the far side of the narrow single bed. I try to stop the feeling with my mind, but I can’t stop it, because I’m not the one causing it.

The next thing I know, the sensation… entity… ghost… whatever it is… starts making its way up the length of the bed on the side I’m turned away from, as if the duvet is physically being pressed down and ruffled a little. The sensation stops when it reaches my shoulder. I’m frozen stiff, not daring to move or turn my head.

By some miracle, I eventually close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

The next morning, I immediately told the girls about what happened, and somehow our first theory ended up being that a rat or a mouse was crawling on my bed. With the old age and state of the house it could’ve been true, but I knew it wasn’t that. There was no way.

Then E said something. Something that solidified the fact that there was something unseen going on here. As we were getting ready for the day, she said, “by the way, what were you guys talking about last night?”

My mind loops back to last night, when she was telling me and R about her recent experience at the cinema. I gently remind her, “you were telling us about your cinema story, remember?”

That’s not what she was talking about.

She replies, “No, I mean in the middle of the night. I woke up and heard you guys talking, and when I asked what you were talking about, you both ignored me, and I got really mad.”

I pause. My friend and I glance at each other, thinking.

We weren’t talking in the night. In fact, I didn’t even wake up during the night, and neither did my friend.

I say, “We weren’t talking in the night…”

We glance between us. Realising that just after a ghost seemingly crawled into bed with me, E woke up in the night hearing voices in the room. It was the sour cherry on top of the cake.

After that, we spent as little time as we could in our room, and most of the time between orchestra performances and eating meals was spent sitting in the hallway on another floor entirely, nearer the top of the house where the air was light and we felt as though we could breathe again.

The last evening spent in the house, we barely went anywhere by ourselves. Trips to the communal toilets were rarely taken alone, and we always paused for a second before opening the door to our room again, half expecting to see an eerie ghost dressed in all white lying in the middle of the floor. I remember one time we opened the door and E was actually the one sitting in the middle of the floor packing her suitcase. We all screamed.

We left a torchlight on that night, all of us being too terrified to sleep in the dark. Everything was fine.

Until I woke up in the middle of the night.

And heard my roommates talking.

Except they weren’t.

So naturally, when I said “what?” in that hazy state between wake and sleep in the early hours of the morning, there was no answer back to me. Just silence. Ten seconds of silence was enough for me to understand that I might have been hearing the voice of someone who didn’t exist anymore.

It was a relief when we could leave the next day, and even though I enjoyed the trip immensely and knew I would treasure it forever, I was also relieved to be back in my own bed that night.

Ever since then, I’ve been researching East Dene, possible hauntings there, and any past paranormal experiences people have had. I’ve linked my research below with screenshots, and I think it’s safe to say I’m not the only one who thinks this mansion is haunted.

If anyone has their own ghost stories or unexplainable experiences, please share them in the comments!

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My extra research into the hauntings as East Dene:

https://www.reddit.com/r/isleofwight/comments/1k9v829/ghosts/

https://www.paranormaldatabase.com/islewight/wighdata.php

https://hauntedhosts.com/haunted-places/islewight/location/1964-the-hovering-shade-of-east-dene/

A few years ago, I also found a discussion thread of someone saying they stayed in the servants’ quarters at East Dene and heard coughing, followed by sudden coldness and weird mist appearing. Unfortunately, I’m unable to find the website with this thread again.

Thank you for reading!

Everyone has their own definition of love, which is why I think sometimes people get lost in translation about how they actually feel, or fall into denial and probably love someone without realising it. The dictionary can give us a solid definition, but I think it’s evident in the world that everyone has their own version of love.

When writing this now, I’m searching the web for the actual definition of love. The first thing standing out to me is that every website’s definition is slightly different. Of course, this is to be expected, since different entries will use various wording and depth, but in this case, I think the change in wording is enough to cause uncertainty.

In the Cambridge Dictionary, the definition is as quoted: “to like another adult very much and be romantically and sexually attracted to them, or to have strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family.” (Here)

In the Collins Dictionary: “If you love someone, you feel romantically or sexually attracted to them, and they are very important to you.” (Here)

In Britannica: “An emotion characterised by strong feelings of affection for another arising out of kinship, companionship, admiration, or benevolence.” (Here)

In my opinion, I would say the definition from Britannica is the most accurate to what I think love is.

My own definition of love: An intense emotion that is felt when there is admiration, affection, and care for someone or something, usually occurring with the desire to show these deep feelings through one’s gentle actions.

If you look for it, I have a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love is actually all around - Love Actually (2003)

I think that love is truly much more prominent in our lives than we believe it to be. It certainly won’t always be the deepest layer of love, crossing over with sexual and romantic attraction. Still, I do believe there are lighter layers of love intertwined with our everyday lives.

I believe that there is love in the way that someone respects artwork, I believe there is love in being patient and kind with people, I believe that there is love in noticing other people and remembering the little things they say and do, and I believe that there is love in asking someone how they are and genuinely meaning it. All of these things can occur without deep affection and romantic attraction.

Even if all of these things seem somewhat surface-level, I believe they are all examples of different layers of love.

Simultaneously, I believe that wanting to know and accept everything about a person is deep love. I believe that wanting to care for someone and be close to them is deep love. I believe that unapologetically feeling affection and care for someone, even if it is not reciprocated, is a form of love.

If I put all of my beliefs about love together, then I would say I experience love on a daily basis. I’m very fortunate that I can say that.

It’s important to note that all of the examples of love I have listed above can only happen because I genuinely love myself. I look at myself in the morning, and I’m happy with who I am: my looks, my mind, my fashion sense, my confidence, my feminine and masculine energy balanced in a way that feels right, my passion, my desires and hopes.

I can say with full sincerity that I love myself. Sure, I have my ups and downs, but it doesn’t change the core of how I feel about myself. And all of these examples of love listed above can only happen because I truly love myself, and because of that, it’s easier to pour little pieces of love into the world and others without expecting anything back. Keyword: Little. Little pieces of love. Not the whole ocean. Not yet.

Boundaries and discernment are still important. Remember that.

Love is such an intricate feeling, and is often hidden in places, people, and actions. It can creep up in places you didn’t expect to find anything. Love is in every word I have written in this article; love is in every “how are you” I have asked; love is in every coffee I make myself; love is in every song I feel deep within my soul.

I promise you, love is all around. Sometimes you just need to look for it in the hidden corners of the room instead of under the spotlights.

xoxo

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Let me know in the comments what you consider love to be.

A couple of years ago I was in a small spiritual book shop in London, where I found a guided journal on exploring your shadow self. Your shadow self is a term used in Jungian Psychology, referring to the part of ourselves that hold our repressed desires, traits, and parts of our personality we try to reject. Shadow work is the term used when we are trying to bring awareness to our shadow self and heal.

One of the exercises in the journal was to do a short meditation focusing on what your shadow self looks like. When you close your eyes and connect with your shadow self, what appears in your minds eye? There was a space in the journal to draw what image I saw, and what appeared on the page scared me a little.

I’ve been scared of spiders ever since I can remember, and what I drew on the page resembled a spider so much that it actually freaked me out. When I was a teenager, I was probably borderline on being arachnophobic. As soon as I saw a spider, my heart rate would increase, my palms started sweating, and my skin felt a shivery hot.

This is how my theory originated. My theory is that we have certain fears in the external world because it reflects our shadow self; the internal part of oneself that most people run from and find difficult to accept. I believe that my fear of spiders stems from the fact that they are a reflection of my shadow self, and that when I see a spider, I am actually staring at a side of myself I’ve repressed, which is why I used to have such an exaggerated reaction to this insect.

I’ve definitely gotten better with spiders as I’ve grown older, and I’ve done some exposure therapy on myself to help with this. However, ever since realising that this is just potentially my shadow self in another physical form, I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable in accepting spiders hanging around the place… and I don’t get anywhere near as scared of them anymore.

Of course, this won’t count for all fears, but perhaps a few.

Let me know what you think of this theory, maybe I’ll dive deeper into it soon.

xoxo

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When we are deeply triggered by someone or something they have said, a natural instinct can be to defend ourselves and avoid the uncomfortable suffocating feeling that rises within us. The easiest thing to do is to run. Run as fast and as far away as you can before this feeling weighs you down so much that you’ve sunk to the bottom of the ocean and are resting on the sea bed.

The hard thing to do, is to turn around and face the darker side. The side that is angry because its scarred with wounds that were abandoned to heal on its own with no love or guidance. Because in reality, it didn’t truly heal, and its still living within you under a multitude of sand and ocean waves to cover it up.

There is strength in sitting through the difficult emotions, and figuring out why we are feeling this way in the first place. Where is this feeling originating from? Why does it make us feel so stuck in life? Why do I suddenly feel the worst I’ve ever felt all because of this one person or situation triggering me? I believe there’s an origin point to all this, like a root curled into the ground that could have been placed there when we were children or teenagers, maybe even adults; when we had no idea how to deal with our emotions and heal healthily. There’s some things I’ve been triggered by in the past that I’ve been able to trace back to feeling insecure when I was a teenager and the friendship problems I had at the time.

The most important thing? That you never take out your own triggers on other people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than okay to ask for help, guidance, and someone to talk with, but there’s a line between needing help and being disrespectful if it’s uncalled for. If someone is rude or disrespectful? Always stand up for yourself. If someone has done nothing wrong but is triggering you and memories you wanted to bury? Heal gently, and don’t take it out on them.

It can be challenging to walk into the shadows instead of run from them. However, I find it’s easier to sit through this process if I remind myself that healing is occurring, and that once I’m on the other side of this shadow and step out into the sun, I’ll feel lighter than ever before. There is truly freedom in meeting eye to eye with the dark parts of yourself.

Next time your shadow creeps up on you, turn around and say hello. You never know what you might find. Or most importantly, who you might become (for the better, of course).

Lots of love.

xoxo

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Over the past couple of months when I’ve been talking with a friend, we keep circling back to this one thing. One thing in particular that we experience very differently. When I like someone, I’ve realised that I suddenly fall into a pit of feeling everything deeply. Of course, I mentally think about why I like them and why I feel this way, but the real sensation of all the emotions I can hold for one person can be overwhelming and confusing. My friend on the other hand, said that when she starts to like someone, it’s almost completely a mental process, and that feelings don’t usually appear until much later into knowing someone.

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In my experience, sometimes feeling a lot deeply all at once can be confusing. One time I was so confused, that I almost convinced myself I had feelings for someone that I wasn’t even attracted to (spoiler alert, I realised soon after that I was attracted to them). Well, that was delusional wasn’t it? It doesn’t even make sense… to feel something in your heart for a person before there’s a desire to flirt with them. Or does it? Maybe it does. Honestly, I think a part of me was suppressing how I truly felt, which resulted in this confusing sense of emotion with no logical order to it. However, when I gave myself permission to feel more and start being honest with myself, I suddenly realised that I do in fact like this person. A lot. And did I panic? Yes. At first, anyway, but now I’ve sat through the uncomfortable part, I feel considerably much lighter and positive about everything.

When I think of someone, anyone, even if it’s someone I’m not interested in or don’t talk to anymore, there’s always a glimmer of emotion reflecting in my heart. Whether it’s sadness, nostalgia, hope, affection, or despise, there’s always something there. It can be overwhelming and confusing, but there’s two sides to this. Feeling everything so much can absolutely be a good thing. I’ve noticed I’m more creative when I feel more, which only fuels my determination and desire to create and express. I do also think I have good understanding of my emotions now, since I’m continuously reflecting on how I feel about everyone and everything happening in my life.

This leads me into noting how important it is for me to express myself creatively. When I start feeling too much, I need somewhere to place those feelings. Especially if I feel as though I can’t express my feelings directly to someone. Hence, why I’m writing this here and now. I need to get my feelings out of my system and welcome more lightness into my chest.

It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply - David Jones

I think this is also intertwined with why I write so much in cafe’s and bars. It has everything to do with how I feel when I’m there. Perhaps it’s comforting seeing the same locals on a regular basis, or the gentle music in the background mixed with the chatter of people studying or laughing with their friends, or because the interior of some places are homely and welcoming. Everything is about the energy I feel within a place and a person.

I’ve become more accustomed to facing my emotions now. I can be tough, but I think it’s necessary to confront yourself sometimes. You will find freedom in doing so.

Please let me know in the comments about your usual process of growing feelings and how you express them 💗 I’m interested to know!

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Sometimes, people walk into a room and there’s a shift. Maybe they bring a ray of hope and light within them, maybe they bring positivity, or even perhaps suppressed anger and anxiety. An individual’s actions can bring this energy to light for others to see, but sometimes, just by looking at someone, I can instinctively feel something in them, without them even needing to give much away. Sometimes, to the point where it affects me a little emotionally.

This article dives into how intricate and complicated energy can be, and how I’ve personally picked up on that in social settings 💓

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That’s what I was thinking when I dropped out of my Sports Psychology Master’s degree last year in September. Two days of classes and I never went back.

From the first two classes, it was very clear to me that I was in the wrong place, that my energy wasn’t aligned with being at university anymore. Something was just… off. More importantly, my soul felt suffocated. After going to dance classes in the city, writing on my blog, and having the freedom to learn about myself and travel, it felt wrong to go back to a classroom. I needed to allow myself to pursue something more creative, and honestly… have a break. After just finishing an undergraduate degree which took me three years, going back to do a masters straight after only made me realise how tired and drained I was. Even after summer.

I think I also got tired of trying to write in the way my lecturers wanted me to write. I tried hard, I really did, but my natural writing style never felt like it was quite enough. The structure of my essays made sense to me, but for academic writing, it wasn’t quite cutting it. I tried hard, I promise.

I’ve always been more creatively gifted compared to academically, and I think a part of me realised that I needed to follow what’s natural for me instead of forcing something else. Being creative isn’t something I need to try hard at, it just happens. My feelings flow and then so does my creativity and passion.

If your soul is feeling caged, or like your body is rejecting the structure set by society, then that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel as though you’re meant for more. More freedom, more happiness, more authenticity.

My soul is breathing now. Thankfully.

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It’s true. Words are one of, if not the, most impactful things in the world alongside our thoughts and feelings. Take Substack as an example - think about how inspired you are when you read new articles, or when you come across a note that feels so deeply relatable or inspiring that it hits a place deep in your soul that maybe you forgot even existed.

Maybe there’s a piece of poetry, or a quote that you read, that resonated so perfectly you experienced a part of your soul relax… as if you could rest after finding out that there is a way to describe how that one corner of your heart feels right now.

Maybe there’s a text or email you received that completely changed your life, with the sudden impact of it making you either mentally spiral or cry with joy. Perhaps simply having a deep and honest conversation with the right person unlocked a part of you that was kept hidden even from yourself. It’s also possible that hearing or reading certain words aloud re-opens an old wound that you fought so hard to keep stitched up forever.

If you’re someone who listens to music for the lyrics, think about your favourite song and reflect on how it made you feel the first time you listened to it. Remind yourself how the words resonated in your gut and became a part of you after each click of the replay button.

One of my favourites is “Right Now” by Gracie Abrams, which to me is about finding your home away from home, learning about yourself, and at the same time feeling homesick. The lyrics in the song (like many other of Gracie’s songs) forced me to confront emotions and topics that I had been avoiding. Sometimes, songs can be uncomfortable to listen to at first, the words hitting in a place we don’t expect, but sitting through the uneasiness can actually be healing. I often find freedom in confronting the things that make me the most uncomfortable.

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Words are also significant when it comes to planning. If we tell someone we are trying to do something specific, we are more likely to try and do it compared to if we keep quiet. This is since our accountability for achieving it is suddenly on display, and sometimes we even receive more support from others, meaning we can be more likely to increase out goal pursuit effort (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672251382271).

We can choose how react to people’s words and how to act accordingly, but that initial feeling or impact within us is almost completely unavoidable. Words are like magic because they give us feeling, knowledge, and can change someones life in only a matter of seconds. Words can also remind us that we are not alone, that someone out there does understand you, and give us the opportunity to receive comfort and begin healing.

And if you’re anything like me, sometimes simply speaking your desires out into the universe will bring you opportunities.

On that note, this is also a reminder to be careful of what we say.

Let me know your favourite song, poem, or quote in the comments.

xoxo

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(From “Violet Bent Backward Over The Grass” by Lana Del Rey)

Before I start, I’m going to state clearly: I’ve always been sensitive to other people’s energy, and observant about how it affects me and the general space. I always feel everything intensely and deeply without even trying. My emphasis here about this intensity and how much it’s thrown me off is very real. I’ve spoken to many people in my life… but never felt anything quite like this. There’s been plenty of people I know I’ve met just as a lesson from the universe, but this feels deeper than that. Layered.

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In the past couple of months, I’ve realised that by simply doing what I feel like has aligned me with my truest path. When I’m thinking about what the universe wants from me, I end up overthinking. When I do what I want and follow my feelings, it seems this was the original plan all along. On the chance it’s not part of the plan, I know my actions will be diverted by things out of my control to get me back on track.

This leads me into saying: take the opportunities the universe presents to you. If there’s someone you want to talk to, and you are presented with the opportunity, then take it. In a way, it’s also approval from the universe that you should be talking to this person! If the universe wants you to meet someone, then you will be in the right place at the right time. I also know from experience that if the universe doesn’t want you to see someone, then you really won’t. Even if it’s only within a space of five minutes, you’ll always miss them.

I suppose it’s true when people say we already have all the answers within us. We really should trust that we are always where we are meant to be.

Perhaps in some aspects of my life, there isn’t a plan. And when there is a plan, it’s meant to be a surprise, after all.

xoxo

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Money, for example. Humans weren’t placed on this earth with the existence of money, it’s something that’s been invented by us. The same goes for the education system and earning qualifications - it’s all something we’ve made up in order to give people a sense of worthiness. The idea that someone deserves more respect due to a random number or title, is just a lie.

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Another interesting example is mental disorders. Yes, this absolutely helps people understand more about what’s going on in their brain, and more importantly, it can help people find the right treatment. However, not every country uses the same diagnostic grading (Stein et al., 2013) and you can be diagnosed with something in one country, but not the other. For example, in some cultures, hearing voices would signal psychic abilities, but in western psychology they generally prefer to think it’s schizophrenia. The United Kingdom and United States also use different grading criteria, with the UK using the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) and the US using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

Again, these diagnoses are all labels that we’ve invented. We’ve analysed patterns within symptoms and put them into groups (Shorter, 2015), such as ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ or ‘anxiety’. All of these diagnoses and treatments are useful and helpful, but it’s not consistent, and honestly, sometimes doctors and psychologists get it easily wrong. Yes, the system is important, but there are significant flaws, and there’s still a lot we don’t know about the human brain.

We place a lot of weight on labels these days. Especially the idea of personality types, which are also constructed by humans. As long as they have shown to be reliable, these tests do have their time and place and are useful for analysing people, particularly in sport psychology. However, I’ve noticed that some people like to put Myers-Briggs personality types in their bio, or share it with their peers, as if fitting into one of these 16 categories carries significant meaning. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test is one of the most unreliable out there (Wareham, 2022), which is surprising considering it’s one of the most popular personality tests online. There’s enjoyment in taking these tests, but sometimes it’s as if people want someone else to tell them who they are and what they’re good at. This also places further unnecessary importance on what others think of us, instead of trusting what we think of ourselves.

A lot of people don’t even know who they are themselves, let alone who other people are. You won’t find yourself through receiving a label from a personality test that someone designed. You should find yourself through gaining the courage to be authentic and expressing yourself naturally to the world.

The things that stress us out the most and have the most weight in the world, have all been created by ourselves. Sadly, humans are the root cause of other humans suffering, after all.

Maybe tomorrow, we can all put extra thought into taking care of nature - something that was here before humans ever were.

xoxo

References

Shorter E. (2015). The history of nosology and the rise of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Dialogues in clinical neuroscience, 17(1), 59–67. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2015.17.1/eshorter

Stein, D. J., Lund, C., & Nesse, R. M. (2013). Classification systems in psychiatry: diagnosis and global mental health in the era of DSM-5 and ICD-11. Current opinion in psychiatry, 26(5), 493–497. https://doi.org/10.1097/YCO.0b013e3283642dfd

Wareham, D. (2022). How accurate are personality tests? Evaluating Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/382935255_How_accurate_are_personality_tests_Evaluating_Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

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Below, I have listed various pieces of art that I believe deserve attention and love. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

“Adoration” by Stephan Abel Sinding

A couple of years ago I went to Copenhagen, Denmark, and visited a museum called The Glypotek. This museum has a large collection of sculptures, artwork, and artefacts. I was constantly in awe in this museum, looking at the Greek Mythology sculptures in particular and seeing different artists interpretations.

There was one sculpture I felt particularly drawn to, the energy around it felt soft and gentle, and pure. The art piece is called “Adoration”, created by Stephan Abel Sinding in 1910. The artwork shows a woman sitting, with a man kneeling before her and kissing her knee. I feel that the important thing to note about this is that she is not forcing him to kneel to her, her hands are by her sides, and he is choosing to kneel out of pure love and adoration for the woman.

Below I have inserted a photo I took of the sculpture when I visited, which to this day remains my favourite museum and favourite pieces I have seen.

“She Knows” - Phoebe Lindenbach

The next artwork I’d like to discuss is created by Phoebe Lindenbach, a Canadian dancer and choreographer based in London. Earlier on this year, she choreographed and directed a project called “She Knows”, highlighting awareness around violence against women. The music in this project is by an artist called Sofia Isella, with her song called “Everybody Supports Women” (which is pure art work in itself already), which also covers the topic of hypocrisy and bringing women down due to jealousy and resentment.

The gradual change of lighting in this piece perfectly captures the meaning of the dance, the lights gradually darkening as the music builds also changes its tone. The gradual change of costumes is also impeccable, with everyones makeup becoming more smeared and their clothes slowly tearing and discolouring. A few other things that stood out to me was how stunning the partner work was between all the dancers and the emotion they were able to display to make the piece come alive even more.

You can watch “She Knows” on instagram, linked below.

Nuvole Bianche - Ludovico Einaudi

Nuvole Bianche is a piece of music by an artist called Ludovico Einaudi, the title of the piece meaning “White Clouds” in italian. This is my favourite piano piece ever, and I feel each and every note resonate with my soul. The melody and layering in the music is exquisite, with the song building and growing quiet at various times, with silences that sometimes say more than any of the notes do, adding to the emotion and passionate tenderness of the piece.

I saw Ludovico perform this live at the Royal Albert Hall in June 2025, and is certainly something special to me. The music certainly takes you on a journey, and I hope you feel it as much as I do.

Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish your brain from your gut, and the majority of the time for me, my gut instinct comes to hit me when I’m not trying to find it. One time last year, I locked eyes with someone who unknowingly would one day be very important to me. As soon as I locked eyes with her, I knew she knew exactly what I was thinking - even if it was only her subconscious mind that knew at that time - and I also immediately knew she was highly intuitive and that she most likely read tarot cards. I was right about this. This is someone I always passed by regularly, so I was already familiar with her energy a little, but this was the first time I’d gotten a glimpse of anything under the surface. Six months later, I suddenly become friends with her, and it’s now one of the most important connections in my life.

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All from just three seconds of eye contact, she was immediately on my radar, and I had a strong feeling she was someone I could trust, and also someone there was no point in trying to hide much from - I could tell she saw through me the same way I did with her. This happened again with someone a few months later, and although I haven’t become close with this person, I have gotten hints and some confirmation since then that my suspicions about this person were correct (in a good way of course).

Sometimes, we can feel that something is going on beneath the surface of what we can see, but it can be difficult to understand what exactly it is that’s happening. Perhaps we aren’t meant to know certain things, which is why our intuition feels foggy in some situations and not others. When I feel like my intuition isn’t quite clicking, I try and cleanse my energy, light a candle, and clear my head. If this doesn’t work, then I accept the fact I’m not meant to know everything yet, not matter how much I want to.

I feel as though detachment also plays an important role in following ones intuition. If I’m attached to something I desire strongly, then I’m going to want to believe that my gut is telling me this is the right thing and that I’ll get my manifestation soon. When I’m attached to things, I notice this creates a bias in my brain. The important thing to note is: if you’re detached from a situation, or even a person, and you still feel as though something may be happening under the surface, then it can be wise to trust that instinct.

However, it is still crucial to ensure that you intuition is not getting mixed with any anxiety in the background. Your intuition is surprisingly easy to brush off, since the feeling can sometimes be as light as a feather. When I get the sense my intuition is telling me something, it’s gentle, but it’s always unmistakable. Even if I want my intuition to be wrong, I still know deep in my gut that the feeling I have is right. When anxiety is in the mix, it generally comes along with tension in my body, leading to overthinking and fears.

Learning to distinguish your intuition and anxiety can be difficult, but it comes with time and practice.

xoxo

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Marketing on social media, particularly TikTok, feels like it’s increasing every day. I remember when musical.ly was around before it turned into TikTok, back when it was all about filming fun videos with friends and lip syncing. I try to not use TikTok too often these days, as I would rather find better ways to get my dopamine hits, but when I do use it, it feels like every other few scrolls there’s a paid partnership or advertisement telling you how great something is. Even if it’s not.

I feel as though those who are teenagers and some young adults are heavily influenced by the media and whatever is trending, even if the products are unethical or low quality. I’m constantly aghast by people doing Shein hauls and blatantly not caring about how unethical the brand is. Sure, it’s affordable, but there’s plenty of other brands out there that are still affordable and better for the planet.

I’ve also seen the new Garnier Sorbet creams being heavily promoted, and some people even admitting that they’re only buying them for the cute packaging, even though the ingredients have far too much fragrance and alcohol in it, which can cause irritation or dry out your skin even more in the long run. I’ve also noticed a pattern that when things are advertised as a “food” (in this case, ice cream sorbet) it seems to make it more appealing to consumers. And of course, if someone is getting paid based on how many people they can get to buy a product, then of course they’re are going to tell you it’s great.

At the end of the day, marketing is just another form of manipulation to get you to buy a product. Yes - sometimes people intentions are authentic if they genuinely think it’s an amazing product (some products are great), but a lot of the time on TikTok people want their commission. People need money, I understand, but this is where the critical thinking and researching comes in.

A brand or an influencer will tell you the supposed benefits of a product, then probably say there’s a limited edition version and it’s on flash sale for the next few hours and to get your hands on the product quick. This encourages people to panic purchase, also resulting in some people not doing their own research on the product or taking a second to reflect on whether they actually need this in their life. I think the fear of “missing out” also plays a part in this - if everyone else seemingly has a new product that people are claiming to look and smell amazing, you’ll feel like the only one who isn’t following the trend, making you want the product more.

All of these limited time flash sales, extreme advertisement every two scrolls, and influencers telling you a moisturiser is working when they’ve only used it once for five seconds, is all manipulation.

Some influencers and creators do have good intentions, and will honestly tell you if they liked or disliked a product and why. The intention coming from these people is authenticity and honesty.

Others will tell you something is great with the intention of earning money. Again, marketing and promoting are people’s jobs, and they rely on those jobs for their financial stability. All of this is fine and understandable, as long as we remember that the intention here is to earn money. Sometimes products are genuinely great, but as soon as you see a “paid partnership” on a product, perhaps next time go an extra layer and do your own research and find honest reviews before purchasing.

Happy Monday everyone! Hope you have a lovely week and thanks for reading! 💖

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The type of eczema I have is caused by friction, chemicals, hard water, and certain fragrances and essential oils. To put it short, I have extremely sensitive skin which can react to almost anything. My eczema is usually worse on my legs, then my torso, and a little bit on my arms. And also note - I almost always have eczema somewhere, since theres so many factors that irritate my skin such as water and clothes, it’s almost impossible to get rid of it completely unless I were to use steroid cream all over me, which I would rather not do.

Disclaimer: Everyones skin is different, and due to everyones skin conditions and dryness being caused by contrasting factors, these products might not work for every individual.

The important thing to firstly note is that when eczema occurs, it’s because your skin barrier is broken, leaving it feeling irritated and dry. When this happens, many people resort to heavy moisturisers in hopes that it will do the trick. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Occasionally this has worked for me, assuming I put an excessive amount of moisturiser on almost three times a day. The important thing to note is: many moisturisers on the market claim to give intense moisture, or give 48 hydration. Sure, maybe it’s true, but it overlooks the most important step: healing your skin barrier. You can moisturise all you want, but if you skin barrier doesn’t heal and strengthen again, the dryness might just keep coming back.

The key ingredient: Avocado.

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Avocado is intensely hydrating, but it also contains vitamin E, which helps heal and support your skin barrier. There was a moment a few years ago when my eczema suddenly started clearing up, leaving me in shock and questioning what had caused it. The only new product I’d used recently was a soap made from coconut and avocado. I’d tried coconut oil on my skin before, and hadn’t had any major results, so I decided to jump to the conclusion that it must be the avocado healing my skin.

Ever since then, I’ve been searching for products with avocado, and every single one of them has improved my skin significantly. Below I’ve linked the products I have tested so far, and included the price and everywhere you can buy them.

Bloomtown

Shampoo Bar Soap: Lemongrass and Peppermint

This is the soap I was using when I realised avocado was great for my skin. Yes - it’s a shampoo bar, but you can also use it as a normal soap bar (yes, Bloomtown actually recommends this too!). Personally, this didn’t work well for my hair, hence why I used it as a body soap, and thank goodness for that!

Price: £7.50

Bloomtown Website: https://bloomtown.co.uk/products/shampoo-bar-soap-lemongrass-peppermint

Garnier

Vitamin E Moisturising Body Cream

This is my go-to daily moisturiser that I use every evening. I usually stock up on this when it’s on offer, and you can find it in Boots and Superdrug. This one is my favourite since its contains avocado oil, is easy to apply, the consistency isn’t too thick for me, absorbs quick, and after a few days I can already see my skin improving.

Important note: this product does contain fragrance, however, it’s at the very bottom of the ingredients list, meaning the amount in the product is minimal and very subtle. Usually I have a problem with fragrances on my skin, but since it’s such a little amount, my skin seems to be okay with this (of course, this will be different for everyone).

Price: £9.99 (Usually £4.49 - £4.99 when it’s on offer!)

Garnier Website: https://www.garnier.co.uk/our-brands/body-care/body-superfood-avocado-omega-6

Superdrug: https://www.superdrug.com/skin/body-care/body-creams/garnier-body-superfood-avocado-omega-6-380ml/p/822951

Boots: https://www.boots.com/garnier-body-super-food-avocado-cream-380ml-10315509?srsltid=AfmBOorvdYtuU70Npuzwr065Z0uLRU_25K2zKCL7dLMUVUIto4y3gTpH

Lush

Each Peach | Mood-Boosting Massage Bar

This is another one of my favourites, however I only use this occasionally. I think this is the product I’ve had the fastest results with, but it is oil based and can take a little longer to sink in. I also feel like this doesn’t product doesn’t last a long if used everyday - maybe two weeks for me and it’s gone, which is why this is an occasional product for me. Avocado is one of the main ingredients in this product, as well as grapefruit, lime, and orange oils. This product is fragranced, however Lush has specified that these fragrances occur naturally in essential oils (of course, this can still cause irritation depending on the person, so definitely double check the ingredients!). Personally, I haven’t had any problems with the fragrance in this product (lavender or peppermint oil usually irritates my skin), but as always, double check the ingredients.

Lush are also amazing at giving out free samples, so it’s worth asking if you can take a small piece home so you can patch test this product before committing to purchasing!

Price: £9

Lush Website: https://www.lush.com/uk/en/p/each-peach-massage-bar

Sources:

https://hassavocadoboard.com/happenings/new-study-suggests-intake-of-avocado-can-be-beneficial-for-skin-health/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7633944/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8247875/

Yes - people have bad days and noticeably project their negative energy outwards onto others. Is this good for people to do? No, and other people having a bad day isn’t something we should be offended by and choosing to absorb. In this case, the statement above is probably the best and only advice to take.

However, it’s equally important that we learn to be aware of the fact that someone’s change in tone towards us could be a reaction to something that we did ourselves. Maybe I had an “off-day” myself recently and handled it badly, or I wasn’t as receptive in a conversation with an acquaintance as I should have been, and therefore someone’s change in attitude or distance towards me is a reaction to my lack of care. Personally, I believe that if someones energy towards me has clearly changed, it’s important to first mindfully look at myself and my own actions towards this person to see if there’s genuinely anything I’ve done to trigger this reaction. Perhaps I know I’ve done nothing wrong at all, and in that case I won’t take it personally - but a small calm reflection won’t hurt me, especially if I care a lot about my relationship with someone.

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There’s another idea circling around, suggesting that we should “give back the energy we receive”, so it’s not unwise to at least briefly consider that someone is reflecting back my own energy towards them.

This doesn’t mean we should read into absolutely everything and start stressing and overthinking, but rather just hold a subtle and quiet awareness of the balance between the energy you give and the energy you receive, and then act accordingly.

Of course, everything depends on the situation and the people involved. Life is complicated these days, with everyones feelings and personal situations weaved intricately into a layered web. Lashing out, judging others harshly, and being horrible is never justified, but sometimes it’s wise that certain shifts in energy or behaviour are gently reflected on.

Not taking things personally is extremely valid and important in order to keep our peace and not absorb unnecessary energy from others, but equally we shouldn’t be missing the step in between where we take a second to think about our own projections as well.

The ability to reflect on your own behaviour towards people should never be overlooked.

This has happened a few times in the past year, where there’s been people I want to connect with in my environment, and I’ve asked the universe to give me the opportunity to talk to them. One time specifically, I said there was someone I wanted to talk to, but I would only do it under certain conditions e.g. that there was nobody else around, that there was plenty of time for me in initiate a conversation (I was very nervous haha), and that I would cross paths with this person at the perfect time. All of these things ended up happening not even a week later. Many other things I asked for also started happening with this person, and honestly it was one of the first times I felt as though the universe was truly on my side about something. Although I don’t really speak to this person much anymore, everything that has happened since then confirms to me that they played a very important role in my self-development and confidence, and even meeting other people that are more aligned with me.

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This happened again very recently. Today, in fact. There’s been someone in my environment that I feel slightly intuitively connected to, and I’ve mentioned to the universe before that I’d like to talk to this person properly. Today there was a split second where communication between us opened up slightly more, to the point where I’d feel comfortable enough to initiate a conversation with this person in the future.

I’m a dancer, and I remember about ten years ago now, I was talking with a friend about my aspirations, and if I wanted to dance professionally. I remember saying specifically, “if I get the opportunity to perform in a ballet on stage at least once with professional dancers, then I’ll be satisfied.” That’s quite specific, and for someone who never went to a vocational ballet school, probably quite an unlikely opportunity to come by. However, about a year later, the opportunity if put directly in front of me. Being only 13, I certainly wasn’t paid and it cost money to take part, but it was one of the best experiences of my life that I will remember forever. A few of the same opportunities popped up for a couple of years after, but I never took part again due to other studies and how expensive it was. The universe really listened when I said “at least once”.

A couple of other times this has happened is when I asked the universe to look after my mum while she was having a small operation in the hospital - I asked that everything went smoothly, that everyone was kind to her, and that they were actually running on time. When I asked her how it went that day, she told me every single person was lovely towards her, everything started on time, and that the nurses were even surprised that she recovered so quickly after being asleep for a little bit.

Every time the universe has listened to me like this, I’ve given back instant gratitude. It’s important to recognise how lucky we are sometimes, and ensure that we take the opportunities the universe is kindly giving to us. Sometimes I’ve been terrified to talk to other people, but when I had the opportunities, I still made sure I took them. Some moments never come around again.

It’s important to note that sometimes if things you ask for don’t happen, then your question either came from unhealed or negative intentions, or it’s out of alignment and the universe is trying to protect you from something that’s not meant for you.

Sometimes, all you need to do is ask. See what happens.

xoxo